Life Matters

“Be extra kind to each other, because everyone is dealing with something”

                                                                              -Plato and Steve Barry

Have you ever being pulled over by either a police officer or a deputy and you knew that you didn't commit any known traffic violations? 

Being an African-American, female in this situation, there isn't a word that could capture the feeling other than sheer panic, but the one thought that kept racing in my head, “please don't make a mistake” and I prayed to God “please don't let him make a mistake.”

I was pulled over by a Sheriff’s Deputy shortly after I passed his Unit.  I was taking our daughter to school, a little later than usual because she wasn't feeling well. The “Hill” is the nickname for their High School.  It is positioned 1,500 feet above the San Gabriel Valley and located in an affluent predominantly white neighborhood.

I thought it was odd to see him there.  I even mentioned it to Sami as we moved on up to the school.  The deputy used his blow horn and me asked to pull over, and taps on my window and I roll it down.  A series of questions starts to come out; “what are you doing here?” and “was this my car?”   After answering the questions, he looks at me again, and says “oh you're not who we're looking for, sorry.”  And he takes off.  “What?!”

I felt horrible for two reasons; I don't like being questioned by anybody, because it always feels like a trap, and I didn't want to believe my gut because it’s usually right;  he pulled me over because I was Black. 

Unfortunately, my gut was right, I was pulled over because I fit a description.

I made a few calls after I arrived to work.  I was still a little shaken, when I finally reached the Watch Commander.  I proceed to tell the Lieutenant my story and ended it with, “I am an African-American woman driving a Mercedes Benz taking my daughter to school; so what are you looking for?”  The Lieutenant said simply, “we're looking for someone that fits your description”   “Really?”  “Yes, really”

I would soon find out that the area has been hit hard with home invasion robberies and burglaries. African-American women have been driving around the area in Mercedes and other luxury cars, looking for homes that seemed unoccupied and they make a call to nearby crew to help them break into homes.

The Lieutenant was patient with my questions. I was realized during our conversation, we were both frustrated.  He was because these people have been able to elude his deputies and until this situation has been resolved, I could be pulled over again, because I fit the description.

There isn’t any easy answers or solutions because this a complex situation.  Lately, I feel like I did as an eight year old in 1968.  Everyone and everything around me seemed so angry and sad.  Nothing felt safe and secure.

Since I believe things happen for a reason, I have been searching within myself to understand, “why did this happened to me?’ and “what do I need I need to do with the insight?”