Monday, April 6, 2015

Healing

      “Life is a game, play it”
               -Mother Teresa

I finally felt a sense of relief in my back.  The constant pain has kept me up at night, it limited my scope of moving around, and it hurt to walk around the block.  Nothing seemed to relive the pain or the way I was feeling.  I was seriously wondering if something was physically wrong with me.

Over the past weeks, months, and year; I have been inundated with a series of events that have left me depleted.  It seemed that I was always fighting with the world or felt like world was against me. I was at a point of my life that I wasn’t ready to forgive anyone, because it was easier to hate them. 

We take it for granted the toxic nature of hate.  It leaves you self-righteous, self-centered and sometimes a little delusional about what is right and wrong.  Marianne Williamson stated that not forgiving someone leaves you in a worst position, because it keeps you locked in the moment of the hurt.  

The hurt and the pain becomes a filter. A filter that clouds our thoughts and emotions, it clouds memories, and it clouds our ability to be compassionate.  It creates a cloud of reality or perception.

I always tell the story of the winter in Munich that my husband and spent there while he was working on his dissertation.  Every day we saw people walking their dogs and didn’t clean up after them.  Over the next few months of record snow fall, everything seemed perfect beautiful snow drifts and happy dogs.  Until the spring thaw started to happen.  Over a course of a few weeks, the melted snow made something apparent, a yard covered with dog feces.

We’re human, no one’s perfect.  We can’t run and hide from flaws or gaps in our lives.  I’m amazed how you mind and body looks for ways to heal itself.  Sometimes, it’s easier, just ignore them to the signs, then they will go away but that is not the case.  Eventually everything catches up to you. 

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